Sickeningly Sweet Strawberries
by Hitomi Uraya
Summary: on hold for ideas You offered me that strawberry when it's your favorite food, why? You kiss me, why? You chain me to the bed! Why? Why do you do the things you do to me? Why? Is it because of the strawberries? RaitoL
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note in any way shape or form. I am just a humble servant of the ever great Raito and L telling their tale for others to read and admire in any way the others see fit.

**WARNING!** Yaoi, cursing, and a whole lot more that I can't thing of. If it offends you, please leave this story now and don't flame me. I really hate to be criticized for my hard work. Also, I might get some things messed up. I haven't read the entire manga or seen the anime, but I've picked up on a few things. Sorry if Raito or L or any other characters seem out of it… This is a FANfic and I can do what I want… so long as it's within limits. Enjoy the story!

**Second warning** to everyone. This is off the top of my head and when it comes off the top of my head, things tend to get a little… wacky… Just try to bear with me and let's keep it together now. If I get stuck and ask for ideas, please do help. I would greatly appreciate it and I just think it would be nice to see what other people would like to see in the story. It means that I might not do what you ask me to put in, but I will consider it. Thank you for your time.

* * *

I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but I've been seeing this strange look in your eyes that I am not able to place. It scares me to not know what you are thinking, planning. It just shakes me to the bone and I can't stop the involuntary shivers that run down my spine when you look at me with those black, endless eyes of yours. There's that look again. I can't place it still, but I know you. You won't stop it until I know what you want, what your craving for.

You're holding that fork in that strange way, yet it's oddly fascinating to me to watch as you take a bite of your strawberry cheesecake. I am still unable to see the way you eat and stay the weight you are. How can you eat those high calorie foods, but stay as thin as a pencil? You eat the cheesecake leaving the strawberry for the last bite. You spear the fruit with the fork's prongs and bring the berry to your lips. I close my eyes and I can see you lick the strawberry of the juices that dripped from its wounds you had made. Tenderly, you sink your pearly white teeth into the fruit. It's so tantalizing, but I know I must resist from jumping onto you and taking that strawberry away from you. It is your favorite food after all.

I shiver. I can feel your black eyes on me as you eat the rest of your strawberry. I open my eyes, but all I see is an empty swivel chair that's spinning around and around. You must have moved out of the chair fast to make it spin as such. When I look up from my seat, you're standing above me hunched slightly because of that back of yours. You can never stand fully straight because of that posture you must have adopted long ago. I hear a gasp come from my lips. I know that you heard it too, but you seem as if you didn't hear it. You lean close to me and I lean back to get away from you. You don't let that happen because you place a hand at the back of my head.

What are you going to do? Are you going to accuse me of being Kira again for watching you eat that cheesecake? I can't tell, but when you're close enough, your lips are almost touching mine in a kiss. Are you going to kiss me? It would be my first if you did. Would it be another test to see if I am Kira and just to watch my reaction to the intimate touch of lips? Probably, but I don't pass up that conclusion. To say that I am startled beyond belief wouldn't be a lie when you held that fork in front of my face. It had a strawberry on it. A peace offering to me from you? That would be an understatement because you would never offer a strawberry to another! They are your favorite.

You move the fork closer to my lips. I shake my head, but I don't know what I'm declining. You shrug and simply eat the strawberry yourself. I sigh to myself once you weren't so close to me. You're back in your swivel chair in that hunched and curled position you have when you sit in a chair of any kind. It seems as if you are protecting yourself, but I have to wonder from what? You turn away from me to settle your sleepless eyes on the monitors in front of you. It's closing in on midnight and you don't even listen to me when I say that we should go to bed. Do you ever go to sleep? Do you ever happen to even close your eyes for more than a few moments at a time? I am insistent when it reaches one in the morning. I tug on the chain that binds us to one another and your right hand is tugged slightly away from the strawberry bowl. You look at me. I tell you that I am tired and want to go to bed. I hear you sigh in defeat at my weakness for sleep before you haul yourself out of the chair.

I stand and lead the way to the bathroom. You sit outside the door, the chain clinking every now and then as I brush my teeth and take care of my business. I feel you lightly tug on the chain because my left hand is jerked from the handle of the toilet to flush. I flush out the toilet and open the door. You stand and we move to the bedroom. You sit on the left side of the bed and I on the right. I don't even change my clothing because I know you won't remove the chain in fear that I might escape you. Why would I do that? I am trying to help you catch Kira after all! I pull a sheet over my body and keep my back to you. My hand is jerked behind my back as you type on your laptop. Even now when I'm trying to go to sleep, you still do not let up on the case. I close my eyes to fall into a fitfully light sleep to be woken up at six in the morning from the soft call of your voice saying my name. "Raito. Raito." You keep repeating my name over and over until I open my eyes tiredly and look at you with hate and malice. "Do not be angry with me, Raito-kun." I do not know why you insist on calling me that. We aren't lovers or anything of the sort. "You only have yourself to be angry at." I ignore you as I walk to the bathroom. I do my business forgoing the shower because then that would mean you would have to come into the bathroom and sit near the shower and wait for me to finish. It sounds refreshing although.

We head to the kitchen so that we can get coffee. Oh no. I forgot. You have Watari to do that for you. Instead of us going into the kitchen, you keep on walking to the surveillance room. The chain drags me along. We're at our seats watching the monitors again. It is almost seven thirty by the time the entire investigation team is in the hotel room. I ignore Matsuda's usual morning greetings. I watch as you begin to drop sugar cubes into your coffee. I count how many you place into the cup. Seven, eight, nine, ten. You stop adding the sugar cubes and pick up the spoon and begin to stir the concoction of sugar. I am surprised, yet not as you take a sip and add two more sugar cubes. Once they dissolve, you take a sip of the sugar-drowned coffee again. I can't see how you'd be able to drink that. I can barely even drink my coffee with milk, let alone sugar!

The day continues as always. It's silent except for the sounds coming from the monitors and you eating and slurping your coffee. You and I fight occasionally, but they're only verbal fights. They consisted of you accusing me of being Kira, I stating the fact that I can't possibly be Kira if I'm trying to help catch him, and you saying that I could still be Kira trying to keep a step ahead of the team just so that I won't be thrown in jail or given the death penalty. It's as usual as your strawberry cheesecake that Watari brings you. Every day it happens and every day it's put aside for the opportune moment. When that moment comes, it's brought up again and shot back down with my denial and refusal to believe.

It's ten at night now. I can feel all my anger that I've stored up and it wants to be released. I need a way to vent it, but properly. I don't want to take it out on you though. However, you do make me angry enough to want to hit you in the face for some of the things you do to me. Any snide comment from you could set me off. Just when I thought we weren't going to get into a fistfight, you have to make that same accusation just before they leave us alone for the night. Why? Do you love to humiliate me in front of my father and the others? Or do you just want to see what my reactions will be?

I stand up from my chair balling my hand into a fist and punching you in the face with my right hand. I watch as you fall from your swivel chair. My punch was hard enough to knock you from your chair and land with a thud on the hard wood floor of the hotel room. I stand above you my chest heaving in anger and my face set sternly. I curse under my breath as you kick me in the knee making me fall to the ground as well. You pin me beneath your body. Your hands hold my wrists to the ground above my head and your legs straddle my hips. I buck to get you off of me, but you're clinging to my body tightly. I halt my movement to stare up at you with my eyes. I blow a puff of air up to get my hair out of my eyes. I continue to stare at you with determination to get you off of me alone.

I hear my father speaking, but I ignore his voice as I begin to struggle against your hold on my wrists. For such a thin man, you sure are strong. That I'll admit. I grunt flipping our positions to have you on the floor. You're legs are still around my hips and your hands still held my wrists that were above your shoulders now. I tell you to stop this, but you don't. You hook your leg around mine and twist me. I'm back on my back on the ground looking up at your eyes. I find myself wondering how long we would go on like this. I hear the door shut. My father and the others must have left to leave us alone to fight this out on our own.

"Raito-kun needs to learn," you whisper leaning down to my ear. My body stiffens and I can't help but turn my head towards you. I ask what you mean by that. The only answer you give me is a sharp nip to my jaw. I'm surprised. What are you doing? Why did you nip at my jaw in a loving manner? "He needs to learn his place." I gasp feeling your hips grind downward into mine. I arch my back. I ask you what my place is and where I need to be for it. "Your place is beneath me in the bedroom preferably." I shake my head. My eyes close and I try to stifle the moan that comes from my throat as you grind against me again. I know you're smiling. I can feel it against my skin because your lips are there on my neck. You place feather light kisses to the skin trailing up to my lips. I beg you, but I don't know for what. I beg again and you cut off my words as your lips descend upon mine. Gentle, yet firm. Loving, yet demanding.

I moan again parting my lips slightly. Your tongue slips past and into my mouth. It presses firmly against mine. It seemed as if you wanted me to play along in this game of twisting lips and tongues known as a kiss. I move my tongue against yours gently. I know not to battle you. I would just be beaten in the simple game. I knew it and I didn't try it. I moan once again arching to your touch. I want the feel of your skin against mine. The clothing we wore was just a covering to our bodies and it was beginning to drive me crazy that I couldn't feel your satin soft skin against mine. You release my hands to cup my face with one and my hip with the other. Your hand slid to the back of my head bringing us closer and your hand on my hip traveled down farther and hiked up my leg. I gripped your hips in my hands yanking them forward between my legs to feel you against me.

I tilt my head back releasing a groan from the contact of our groins. You kiss my neck and thrust your hips in time with my grinding. I curse aloud before I realize what we're doing. I yelp and shove you away from me. I sit up covering my face from embarrassment and panting. I feel your eyes on me, but I ignore you as I regain my breathing. I look up at you still red with embarrassment at what had just happened. "Ryuuzaki I-" I tried to explain myself to you, but you cut me off when you stood and walked away making me follow you to the bedroom. You lay down on the left side of the bed curled up in a protective manner on your side. I take the right side of the bed and try to fall asleep.

I guess that since being chained to you, I developed a routine where we would stay awake from six in the morning to about one or two in the morning and I normally caught an hour or two nap in between. Tonight was different though. We were going to bed at ten thirty or eleven. I had lost track of time during our fight and I didn't know what time it was. I lay there awake staring up at the ceiling running the scenarios through my mind of what could have happened if I hadn't stopped you. I don't regret what I did. No. I'm glad I stopped you, but now you're just… distant and even quieter. There was no typing that night. I found it hard to fall asleep, but I managed to do so at midnight I think.

This time, I wake up closer to seven. I look around, but I can't find you. You took the chain off. I sit up and try to move from the bed, but I'm chained to the bedpost. I curse and yell for you to unchain me. You walk into the room to stand in the doorway and lean against the doorjamb. Oh shit. I did something wrong and I could tell from the look on your face. It held pain and regret and sadness. "No. You stay there until I'm ready for you to be chained to me again." Those words were spoken to me coldly. I really did screw this up between us, huh?

"Can I at least go to the bathroom, Ryuuzaki?" I ask hoping you would be merciful enough to allow me to empty my bladder. I hadn't last night and I can now feel the full effect of it. You shake your head. I stare at you in disbelief. How can you be so cruel to me? Isn't this called cruel and unusual punishment in the United States? Isn't that frowned upon there? Oh. I forgot. You don't care. So long as justice prevails and justice is seen through, you'll do what you have to. We aren't in the U.S. anyway. We are in Japan and the laws here are different from the ones in the United States. I sigh knowing you won't let me go no matter how much I beg. You walk away and I'm left sitting on the edge of the bed having to cross my legs from going in my pants.

The door is shut. Are you giving me privacy so I can go? You return with a bucket and set it at my feet silently. You leave and close the door again. You are… I unzip my pants and pull my underwear down. I aim and I release my pent up urine from my bladder sighing in relief. Once finished, I pull my underwear back up, zip my pants, and push the bucket away. I'm left there for hours. You return, take the bucket, and replace it in case I have to go again. My father brings in lunch for me. He and I don't make eye contact and he doesn't say anything. Did you tell him not to? He leaves and I'm left alone again. I pick up the sandwich off of the plate to take a bite. I was hungry. I hadn't had anything since dinner last night. I finish off the sandwich and eat the chips there as well. I uncap the bottled water and chug it down.

I have the feeling it's around five when you come in again. You take the bucket once again and empty it. The next time you come into the room, it's around midnight. Is this all punishment for when I refused you? Are you interested in me as in a lover? I lay down on my side of the bed and you sit on your side typing on your laptop. Just as it had been only… I'm still not chained to you. I fall asleep not know what to say or not knowing if I should say anything at all. I just think I should leave you alone until you decide to talk to me again.

I won't complain at the heated debates that I've lost, but I will complain that… I don't get to see your pretty eyes anymore… because you won't let me be near you during the day. Why is that? Are you afraid I'll still reject you? How can I? You are the first person I can have an intelligent conversation with and not feel the need to tone down the way I speak. I just wish I could still do that…

* * *

Uh… that was… kinda weird… Is that considered angst or just deep thinking? I don't know so you'll have to tell me. Please review. This is my first Death Note fic, but not my first fic. I am still new to this manga and all, so go easy on me. I think I kept them in character for the most part! Tell me what you might want to see and I'll think about it, okay? Thanks! Oh… and something that happened a week before this came on the site… Raito really needs to learn to be more open minded and to accept himself being Kira!

_Raito looks up at Nimad. Was she crazy? She didn't think he'd do this, did she? "Nimad. Are you serious about the kiss and all?" She looked up at him with innocent gray eyes. She nodded. "Seriously?"_

_"Oh yes, Raito-kun! I can totally see you kissing Ryuuzaki-kun!" she squealed with delight. He rolled his eyes at her like she WAS crazy._

_"How can you see that? How can you be such a rabid yaoi fangirl?"_

_"Hmm… I can't see it, but I can think it… I'm a rabid yaoi fangirl because I was raised with an open mind, Raito-kun. You should be too! You are Kira after all."_

_"I am not…"_

_"DENIAL!" Ryuuzaki yelled from the background._

_"Alright. Just read the script and remember ALL of your lines and please recite them perfectly while we are on air. Please, Raito-kun?" Nimad asked as she began to pout and look at him with big gray eyes. Not perfect because it would be better if she had brown eyes instead, but gray would just have to do._

_"Fine! Just get Ryuuzaki off of my case about being Kira when I am clearly not the killer!"_

_"DENIAL!"_

(The day before this was posted, my idiotic brother pulled his computer out and it knocked out my internet so I wasn't able to get this up or do anything. So... Yeah... Momma fixed it though and I have internet again! Yay! Only reason he yanked it from the wall was because he thought it was shot and we did have a lightning strick the day before yesterday in our backyard. It hit a fence... and I still can't see how it didn't hit the trees back there! Oh well. Another of nature's mysteries... Bye!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note in any way shape or form. I am just a humble servant of the ever great Raito and L telling their tale for others to read and admire in any way the others see fit.

**WARNING!** Yaoi, cursing, and a whole lot more that I can't thing of. If it offends you, please leave this story now and don't flame me. I really hate to be criticized for my hard work. Also, I might get some things messed up. I haven't read the entire manga or seen the anime, but I've picked up on a few things. Sorry if Raito or L or any other characters seem out of it… This is a FANfic and I can do what I want… so long as it's within limits. Enjoy the story!

**Second warning** to everyone. This is off the top of my head and when it comes off the top of my head, things tend to get a little… wacky… Just try to bear with me and let's keep it together now. If I get stuck and ask for ideas, please do help. I would greatly appreciate it and I just think it would be nice to see what other people would like to see in the story. It means that I might not do what you ask me to put in, but I will consider it. Thank you for your time.

**Thanks to:** freak.with.a.shoe and Naomi Iori

* * *

The routine of the next day was pretty much the same. I was chained to the bed, you emptied the bucket urine and return it, my father would bring me lunch, you would empty the bucket and return it again, and then we would be sitting there quietly at night again. I stayed awake this time watching your fingers as they danced over the keys of the laptop. It was quiet beautiful really. The way you used all of your fingers to type on that computer when you normally only use the index and thumb of your hand. Your left hand scrolls the page down while your right reaches into the bowl you have next to you. It's full of strawberries. I snatch one while you aren't looking, but your black eyes look up and bore into my being. I am about to eat it when you tackle me to the bed.

I struggle against your body as you reach for the stolen strawberry. You tell me I don't deserve the fruit, that you didn't offer it to me, and that I shouldn't take what's not mine without permission. I keep the strawberry from your reach for five minutes at least and all the while you are squirming and wriggling above me trying to get to the fruit you love so much. I drop it on the floor knowing you won't eat it now because it's been contaminated with the dirt on the ground. You huff removing yourself off of me. You return to your laptop typing once again. Those fingers of yours are moving over the keyboard again in a little dance of taps with each key you touch.

I reach for another strawberry, but you slap my hand with yours. I pull my hand back to my body and hold it close. I ask you why you are being so hostile, but you don't answer because you know I know why you are. You don't want to share your sickeningly sweet strawberries with me because I refused to go along with what you wanted… I refused and I do refuse to believe that I am Kira. I cannot be that man! I am not that demented to be able to kill so many without second thoughts about what I'm doing. I sigh softly. I move towards you mere centimeters from your face. Your eyes flick towards me, but your face doesn't move. I smile at you before brushing my lips against your cheek. Your black, endless eyes widen from the contact. I whisper into your ear, "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki." I turn away from you and keep my back to you as I fall asleep.

I wake up by you calling my name continually. I groan asking why you're waking me up early. You tell me. You… You chained us back together? Why? Had I done something to make you change your mind? Was it that innocent kiss I gave you on the cheek? I turn over in the bed and the chain rattles. Your finger prods my body making me squirm and wriggle away from you. I fall off of the bed because I had already been at the edge. I land with a thud and a groan of pain. I open my eyes to look up at your face that is over the edge of the bed. "Are you okay, Raito-kun?" you ask me. I nod at your question before hauling myself up to my feet. You lead me out of the bedroom to the bathroom. "Raito-kun needs a shower," you explain to me. I motion to the chain that binds us. You understand and remove the chain so that I can remove my shirt. The chain is back on my wrist before I start to remove my belt. You turn around to have your back to me giving me privacy. I quickly remove my slacks and underwear before getting into the shower. I turn the water to cold and take my time in washing.

I know you sit on the toilet with the lid down as a makeshift seat. Your legs are most likely drawn up to your chest in that strange position you always sit in. The chain rattles and jingles each time I move my left arm, but I ignore it and it seems that you do too. I shut the shower off and a towel suddenly appears in front of my face. I take it from you drying my body off and wrapping it around my hips. Your back is to me again as I get dressed again in my clothes. The chain is removed and replaced once my shirt is on. We go to the surveillance room to take our respective seats. You're in that position again and I'm sitting next to you tapping my fingers against my seat. You put sugar cubes into your coffee and stir it to make the sugar dissolve quicker.

It's all back to normal… Mostly. You still aren't talking to me. I won't complain. So long as I'm with you again. The rest of the investigation team came in at seven thirty. This time when Matsuda greets us, you give him a sidelong glance and I smile awkwardly and greet him back. My father doesn't say anything and neither does anyone else at the fact that I'm back with you. Did you tell them what happened? What have you told them? Have you told them an excuse as to why I wasn't chained to you for those two days? You catch me staring at you and a smile creeps over your lips. Now what? Why are you smiling at me like that? "What, Ryuuzaki?" I murmur so that the others are unable to hear me.

"Nothing, Raito-kun. I was just wondering…" That smile of yours broadens. I can't help but to shudder at it. Your eyes again… they're trying to tell me something that I can't quite decipher the meaning of. I ask what you were wondering. It was to enlighten you. I really didn't want to know, but another part of me wanted to know what you would say. "I was wondering what it takes to make you wither and scream in pure ecstasy." My eyes widen and my cheeks warm at the thought. I'm blushing, you chuckle lowly, and you brush three of your fingers over my face to get my hair out of my face, but I don't turn away. Would it anger you if I did? My heart is pounding against my sternum harshly and I vaguely wonder if it will burst from my chest. Would Kira do that to me? Would he have me killed by a simple touch of your hand with my heart pounding so roughly that it bursts from my chest?

"Ry… Ryuuzaki," I whisper. I move towards you closing my eyes. "I… I don't kn-know what happening." My breathing comes out between my lips in erratic puffs and pants. I open my eyes to look up at you. Your deep black eyes are staring down at me expectantly. What are you waiting for? I'm here, you're here, I'm willing, and I'm ready to make up for what I had done about three days ago. Why are you hesitating in kissing me?

"Are you sure about this, Raito-kun?" you murmur close to me. I shake my head and tell you I'm never sure about anything anymore. I close my eyes again, but open them once again when I hear you stand up. I look at you bewildered on where you might be going. I stand up so as to not be yanked along. The others look at us with questioning glances. "I just need to have a word with Raito alone." My father nodded in understanding and they turned back to what they had been doing earlier. You lead me to the bedroom that you force me to share with you before you push me down onto the bed with my back to the mattress. "Just tell me when to stop." I gasp when you yank my shirt from the band of my pants and unbutton it. I close my eyes lying still feeling your hands run up my chest. You kiss my chest up to my neck and then to my lips. There, you deepen the kiss you place to my lips with your tongue.

Your kiss… It's so captivating that I can't resist you any longer. I wrap my arms around your neck tangling my fingers into your hair. Your hand cups the back of my head bringing me closer to you. We twist to where I'm above you. I pull back with your permission because if you wanted to, you could keep us together in a kiss with that hand. I look down at you panting softly trying to regain my breathing to a normal pattern. Before I can, I moan softly feeling another hand on the crotch of my pants. I lean down placing kiss to your face. I move down pushing up your cotton white shirt to reveal your chest. I kiss your navel. You bring me back up with your hands to kiss me again before we switch places again. The kiss is broken and I feel my belt being removed.

"Ryuuzaki!" I want to stop you, but a part of me doesn't. I don't want this, but a part does. How far will you go?

"Please, Raito-kun. I wish to do this for you." I look down at you and your eyes are pleading me. I sigh and nod before I feel my pants being pulled down to my knees. My boxers go along with my pants. I arch my back upward to the feeling of your long fingers wrapping around it.

I must have blacked out at that time because I don't remember anything that happened after that. All I remember is blinding ecstasy, you silencing me with a kiss, and us just lying there afterwards. What about you, Ryuuzaki? Are you not in need? I turn towards you to ask, but you shake your head as if you know what I was going to say. You say that you are not as young as I am, that you aren't as needy as I am. Should I take that as a compliment, or as a disgrace? I think it was meant to be a compliment because you say I'm a healthy young man. It was a compliment. I close my eyes to find myself asleep within moments.

When I awake, I am underneath the blankets fully dressed without a chain on my wrist. Do you trust me? I sit up in the bed and look around. It looks to be around seven or eight in the evening because of the darkness outside. I strain my ears to see if the team is still here or happened to leave early. I don't ear anything other than the gentle hum of the machines outside. I swing my legs out over the edge of the bed and carefully stand up. I pad my way to the door barefoot and open the door. I make my way to the surveillance room to find the team still here, but you aren't here. Where did you happen to go alone? I ask my father and he looks up at me.

"He went to the bakery with Watari for some more strawberry cheesecake. He said we were out of it." Typical Ryuuzaki. You only have a mind for strawberry cheesecake at the worst of times. Why couldn't you have been there when I woke up? I… Did I do something wrong again? I ask my father when you might be back. "He said in about an hour, but it's already been forty-five minutes." I nod to show that I heard and understood. You will be back in a quarter of an hour, right? I hope that you will be because I want… I don't know what I want. I just want you here with me. Is that too much to ask?

I begin to worry when you don't show up in fifteen minutes. I go to the bedroom to pace back and forth becoming more worried that something has happened to you for the next thirty minutes. I pause in my pacing to hear the front door open and close. Ryuuzaki? Could that possibly be you? I listen more closely. It is because I can hear you explaining what took you so long at the bakery. You just couldn't decide if you wanted just the strawberry cheesecake or more than just that. You had decided to get the cheesecake and other cakes. I open the door to be face to face with you. I don't make a sound as you shove me back into the room shutting it behind you. Ryuuzaki… How I have missed you… though, I won't admit that aloud; I hug you anyway.

"Raito-kun! What has gotten into you?" you ask in a bewildered tone of voice. I smile as I bury my nose farther into your neck inhaling your sweet scent. I hear the clink of the chain being replaced onto my wrist, but I ignore it because I don't want to ruin this moment. It seemed you wanted to though… "Please. Stop showing your affection for me, Raito-kun. We need to get back to searching for Kira." I sigh heavily. I reluctantly let go of you just to have you kiss me. What about not showing affection, Ryuuzaki? I thought… Oh, I don't care. I don't care so long as you kiss me. Your tongue swipes over my teeth before you pull away. I groan in frustration. "Hush. Later tonight. There will be more tonight. I promise," you whisper into my ear. You tug on the chain to get me to follow you like a leashed puppy. We got to the surveillance room. You take your customary chair in your usual position whereas I take the closest seat to you and work. The day passes. Nothing is out of the ordinary anymore. Well… almost.

There is the fact that I can clearly see a small tent in your pants. I just hope that no one else would notice this or your change in attitude towards me. You aren't accusing me of being Kira as often. You only accuse every two or three hours. By the time eleven thirty rolls around, everyone except for you and I are yawning. I'm lying on my back on the hard wood floor waiting until the investigation team leaves. I think you are impatient for them to leave as well. You are adding extra sugar to your coffee rather than your normal ten or eleven sugar cubes. Are you as anxious as I am? Once the team leaves and that door closes, you're on top of me like a bat out of hell.

"Ryuuzaki!" I gasp as you kiss down my throat to my collar. You yank impatiently at the cloth. "Sh-Shouldn't we go t-to the bedroom and d-do this on the be-bed?" I ask as your hands explore my chest and you lick and kiss my collarbone. I moan softly arching into your touch. Your fingers work at unbuttoning my pants. "Stop! We ne-need to get to the bed, Ry-Ryuuzaki!"

"If Raito-kun insists, we will use the bed." I shiver involuntarily as you help me up and we head to the bedroom. You remove the chain tossing it off to the side. Are you not afraid I might run in the middle of the night if you suspect me of being Kira so much? I don't worry about it as I crouch over you running my hands up underneath your shirt making it ride up to your chest. I kiss you fiddling with your now hardened nipples rubbing my lower body against yours. I hear you grunt and you switch our positions. I still have my legs around you as you remove your shirt leaning down to kiss me. I return your kiss eagerly. I pull your chest down to mine feeling your warm flesh against mine. I gasp into the kiss feeling you thrust your hips forward into mine. We part slowly, but remove the remaining clothing quickly. Once we are both fully nude, you crawl up onto the bed and I quickly follow you wanting this more than anything.

Our lips meet again and so do our bodies. Our erections press together. I can feel myself harden more as you roll your hips into mine. I moan softly into the kiss. You pin me down onto the bed trailing your sweet lips down my body. Those lips of yours go lower and lower. They stop at my navel. I arch my back feeling your slippery tongue dart into the dip of flesh. I push you down farther to the destination we both have in mind. I cry out in pleasure arching farther off the bed when your mouth takes my flesh in. "Ryuuzaki!"

You move away from me reaching underneath the bed to get something. What are you retrieving? Is it lotion? More handcuffs? You find what you wanted and pull it up onto the bed with us. I look at it to see Johnson and Johnson's Baby Lotion. I lift my hips to help you as you wrap my legs around your waist. I watch as you smear the lotion onto your length coating it with the soft pink color, which adds to its already blushing state. "Are you relaxed, Raito-kun?" I nod angling my hips. You position yourself before sliding into me slowly. I moan as the head of your length slides in. Taking in the rest of your shaft is smooth until you're sheathed fully within me. "Tell me how you want it."

"Ryuuzaki… take me… hard and fast. Please. I'm begging you to take me!" I cry out trying to buck my hips. You don't allow me to by holding them in place. You ease out of my passage slowly all the way to the head before slamming back into me. I arch moaning. I can feel your throbbing length within me as well as the cool lotion warming up quickly. You pull back again and slam back inside. Your pace quickens with each thrust. I can't resist any longer. I yank you down to me by your unruly black hair connecting our lips together. I slip my tongue against your lips before I force it into your mouth. I hear your gasp of surprise and feel a sudden rough thrust. I groan moving my slippery appendage back and forth in your mouth.

"Raito-kun… Wha-What are you… doing?" you ask. I pull back chuckling softly.

"Don't worry…" I whisper in your ear before licking the shell of it and bucking my hips to meet your thrust.

* * *

I think I'm gonna stop it there… It's already over the Teen rating so it's gone up to Mature. That and I think it didn't go the way I wanted it to… Oh well. Hope you enjoyed! Here's an incident that happened with Raito…

_Raito is twitching in the corner of the studio with wide eyes on the script that is in his hands. 'So violated… I'm going to be violated by Ryuuzaki… L… Oh me,' he thinks. He tosses the script away not bothering to read farther than the part where he has to hug the detective._

_"Raito-kun! Read it, know it, loves it!" Nimad shouts from the director's chair, which is more like an overly large armchair instead. She is curled up in the seat with her right leg underneath her and her left above her right by her side. A full five or six inches of the scar revealed on her left thigh because of the gray men's shorts she's wearing. Her gray eyes watch him as he grumbles and picks the script back up to read it again. "Thank you, love!"_

_"Whatever…"_

_"If I didn't know any better, I would say Raito-kun is embarrassed to have to participate in sexual intercourse with me," Ryuuzaki taunts. Raito throws him a glare before reading again, his eyes going wide by the end. The boy begins the rant and rave on the reasons why he and Ryuuzaki shouldn't do the ending._

_"Raito-kun. It was my decision for you both to do it. Ryuuzaki-kun doesn't want to do it either as much as you. I had to convince him to think about Misa Amane to keep the tent in his pants for that one scene…" Nimad trailed off, as Ryuuzaki's face grew red. "Sadly enough, I can't have Misa on the set for she is annoyingly distracting to everyone. As well as the fact that she never shuts up and… I just don't get along with her…"_

_"That's your problem, director!"_

_"Shut up and read the script, Raito-kun."_


	3. Authoress' Apology

Dear Readers,

I am terribly sorry for not updating as of late. I have been busy with schoolwork and many other things. I'm in two types of organizations that require my attention. I hope you understand that I won't update for a little while until I get a certain schedule in place. I have also lost all data on all stories I've been working on. I hadn't written them so now I have to restart from scratch. I really do hope you all understand of my situation here. Just be patient and I will pick everything back up again.

Thank you.

Your Authoress,

Na-kun is my anti-drug. . .


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note in any way shape or form. I am just a humble servant to the ever great Raito and L telling their tale for others to read and admire in any way the others see fit.

**WARNING!** Yaoi, cursing, and a whole lot more that I can't think of. If it offends you, please leave this story now and don't flame me. I really hate to be criticized for my hard work. Also, I might get some things messed up. I haven't read the entire manga or seen the anime, but I've picked up on a few things. Sorry if Raito or L or any other characters seem out of it… This is a FANfic and I can do what I want… so long as it's within limits. Enjoy the story!

**Second warning** to everyone. This is off the top of my head and when it comes off the top of my head, things tend to get a little… wacky… Just try to bear with me and let's keep it together now. If I get stuck and ask for ideas, please do help. I would greatly appreciate it and I just think it would be nice to see what other people would like to see in the story. It means that I might not do what you ask me to put in, but I will consider it. Thank you for your time.

**Thanks to:** Conjure Lass, harrth, LegacyofSamsara, freak.with.a.shoe, niuhana, Random-Anime-Girl, Miyavi Fangirl, Nokturnal Augury, Azure-ninja, and kess lawliet.

* * *

I close my eyes as I bring myself up to you and rest my head on your chest. I trace my fingertip over a two inch scar on your hip from what, I don't know. You tangle your fingers in my hair brushing out snarls. I smile and curl my legs around yours. "Is Raito-kun sore?" you ask innocently.

"A little, but nothing time won't heal," I reply quietly. You lift me into your lap facing you. I open my eyes to stare into your dark eyes with a small smile on my face. Your lips quirk slightly before you place a kiss to my lips. I part them to allow you entrance, but you don't take the offer. I have to wonder why. Had I done something wrong once again? No. The sex was great. I couldn't have done something wrong. You keep your mouth shut. I jump slightly in your lap when I feel your fingers kneed my ass. "L…" I murmur with my lips still against yours. You don't say anything. I sigh, running my tongue over your bottom lip. You smile beneath me and part those lips of yours. You wanted _me_ to kiss _you_. I laugh lightly and wriggle my tongue into your mouth.

"You got the idea, Raito-kun." I lick your tongue to entice you to play along. We kiss for a few moments before the need for air overwhelms us. I pull away panting heavily. "Raito-kun is a good kisser." I smile and kiss your cheek. "Tired?" I nod. "You can sleep. I'm going to stay up a little longer." I nod again and move to my side of the bed. I murmur an 'I love you' to you. "I love you, too." Just before I go to sleep, I hear you whisper, "Kira…" I ignore it because I know you're just trying to get a rise out of me. I won't allow it.

You aren't with me when I awake. I glance to the clock on the nightstand to find it's about eight-thirty in the morning. An hour since the rest of the team as arrived. Why hadn't you woken me up to go with you? Were you allowing me to rest from last night's activities? I think that's it, but I'm not sure. I sit up and a pain shoots up my spine coming from my ass. I suppress a groan of pain and stand. I go to the dresser you and I share to get out my clothes for the day. I dress and head out to the living room of this building.

I find you sitting in your normal position in an armchair with a cup of coffee and sugar cubes in front of you. I stand behind the armchair, deciding not to sit on the arm otherwise I might hurt myself. I listen to the conversation for a little while before deducing that we are all heading to the United States of America. A new lead of this killer notebook we've been searching for? Another killer notebook? I ask where in the US. You reply in the Central region, Tornado Alley, Oklahoma, Green Country… Tulsa… Broken Arrow.

That's a small area stretched over miles. How are we going to find this Kira? You state that it is a teenager again because the times connect with a teenager going to and from school. How had you known that? Do you know what times the schools begin and end? If you do, you have a large mind to keep all that information stored up in there.

You explain everything about when we will be leaving. You say we will be leaving by noon. I look to the clock to find it is already nine in the morning. You release them to their homes to gather clothing and personal belongings for the trip. You don't allow me to go with my father. You say that most of my things are already here and that he only has to gather the necessities: toothbrush, hair brush, soap, and nail clippers. My father leaves somewhat reluctantly. You call your butler helper, Watari, and ask him to head out for your sweets. Once everyone is gone, your turn to face me. Those dark eyes stare at me and I just have to wonder what you are thinking to make you look at me like that. Now that I know how you feel about me, I know what that look in your eye had been and still is. That look… its lust, isn't it Ryuuzaki?

"Ryuu… Wh-Why are you looking at me like th-that?" I ask you. I step back as you step forward in a predatory manner as if stalking prey. I continue to step back and you forward until my ankle catches on a ledge, making me stumble backwards and fall onto my ass. I cry out in pain, stiffening my back from the sudden jolt. You pounce, I yelp, and I find us in a very awkward position.

"Admit you're Kira, Raito-kun. I know you are. You've just lost your memory of all your horrible deeds." I wriggle beneath you, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I want to ask you to get off of me, to punch you for saying that, anything! But I don't say or do anything. I just look up at you before relaxing on the floor, trying to get comfortable for the long wait ahead. "If Raito-kun does not admit he is Kira, then I will have to embarrass him greatly." I would love to see you try to embarrass me. You have nothing against me to do so. My body stiffens from a contact to the area between my hips. Grinding, you touch my chest with your fingertips lightly. "You do not have to say it aloud completely." You bend down to have your lips at my ear, whispering. "Say yes or no. Are you Kira, Raito-kun?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, L…" You sigh, lick the shell of my ear, and stand back up in your hunched posture. My breathing is erratic and all over the place. My legs feel weak to where I think I can't walk, barely stand at all. My stomach is quivering and my newly acquired arousal is throbbing. This is what you do to me. I can't stop it. I can't stop this feeling, this… love for you. If this is what you do to me, what do I do to you then? Do you feel the same as I do? Is your heart racing with anticipation of the night, of what's to come of tonight?

When I look at you again, your face is distant, no emotion is shown there. "'All the events in your life are a mirror image of your thoughts.' If that is true, then does that mean you do love me?"

"L, what do you mean? I slept with you, didn't I? That means you mean something to me, right? And what about the whole, 'Are you Kira,' thing?"

"There's a seventy-three percent chance that you could just be having sex with me to get closer to me… To figure out my name and kill me."

"Ryuuzaki. That's your name to me. Ryuuzaki or L is your name. I don't care what your real name is." I struggle to my feet, my legs wobbling slightly as I come closer to you. I place my hands on either shoulder, looking you straight in the eye. "If I am him, if I am… just know that when I wasn't aware of myself, I did love you." You look up at me from staring at your feet. There looks to be unshed tears in your eyes, but I'm not sure. If I asked if you were crying, you would probably use the excuse that there was something in your eye. I don't know, but I know I don't ask. "I do love you," I correct myself before placing a chaste kiss to your lips, which seem to be pouting slightly.

* * *

So uh, yeah… Sorry for the shortness. I kinda got behind on school work and stuff. I sort of worked some things out, but not completely. I wanted to update since it's Thanksgiving break for me and uh… guess what, guys. I'm stuck in the muck. If you want this story to go anywhere in the near future… talk to me. Ideas are needed and very much appreciated and will be considered! I just, yeah… Thanks for the reviews again! I don't deserve them for taking so long… Here's a funny little scene to stay on everyone's good side!

"_You know… I don't do the mushy pillow talk, Nimad…" Raito complained in private with the director. She nodded in understanding._

"_You're good at acting though, right?"_

"_Of course."_

"_Good. You can do it!" Raito looked at the director like she was crazy… still. He left her office. "All night long!" She began to giggle to herself before her door opened again and in walked L and… Misa. "What can I do you, Ryuuzaki-kun? Amane-san."_

"_Misa wants a part in the script."_

"_Eh… I don't know. Only if a fan of Amane's writes in and says he or she wants to see her on set. She will have to follow script exactly as I write it!" Misa crosses her arms and nods._

"_Misa will do anything!"_

"_Whatever. Goodbye… Ryuuzaki-kun? Stay for a moment." Misa left the office with a huff. "I know you like her, but seriously… This is a damn yaoi set. Men only!"_

"_You're a female."_

"_I don't count."_

"_Damn…"_


End file.
